This Sht is bananas!
by Adia Rose
Summary: Challenge fic. Rose wants to apologise to the Doctor so this time she takes him on a trip!
1. Smug

A/N--- This was a challenge fic from Bubblez-rocks-your-socks. I won't put in what the terms were yet...because they come up in the next chapter. This will only be 2 or 3 chapters long.

Enjoy!

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"Stupid bloody Time Lord. Stupid sucking banker, thinks he knows everything. Stupid sit, banker, custard." 

One very guilty Time Lord was standing with his ear pressed against the door to Rose's bedroom on the TARDIS. He had recently _accidentally_ managed to get Rose almost married to some alien King on their last adventure and after having been made to dance to some strange song about "Honey" or "Bee's" or something of that nature the Doctor had only made things worse for her by claiming that she was in fact already married to _him_. He had thought this a very good idea at the time until the 'marriage ritual' of burning their clothes and being dipped in melted chocolate together had arisen. So all in all the Doctor was not in Rose's good books. But he had to admit that she had some strange insults for him…one sounded like "banker" another sounded like "custard" oh…no wait…that's custard with a 'ba'. Oh…banker, sucking and sit weren't quite so innocent either, the TimeLord soon realised. Hmm…he would definitely have to make the doors easier to eavesdrop through.

Ok, so it hadn't been their most successful adventure…oh dear. He knocked gently on Rose's door, expecting her to yell at him, he braced himself for the onslaught.

"If you've come to tell me again how I said I _wanted_ a day with dancing and chocolate you'd better stay on the other side of that door because that WASN'T WHAT I ….meant." Rose had been screaming at him but her words turned to a mere whimper when she had seen the Doctor's face as he entered the room. He looked like a little puppy who'd just been hit over the head by a heavy object…a very heavy object. She felt guilty at once. Of course he hadn't meant to put her in danger. How could she stay mad at him.

The Doctor saw the change in Rose's expression and took his opportunity to make things better, he moved closer to her and pulled a banana out from behind his back.

"Last one on the TARDIS Miss Tyler and all yours." He said with a lavish bow. She couldn't help herself, she smiled.

"Was that a smile?"

"No." Rose said turning away so that he wouldn't see the even larger smile that had crept it's way onto her face.

"You smiled! Ha. Yes Miss Tyler you can't stay mad at me, I AM just that impressive. And after all you did ask for a relaxing day 'with chocolate and maybe some dancing' I think those were your exact words were they not." The Doctor was smug. Smug as the Doctor could be. Until, the hand collided with the side of his face. Her slap was even worse than her mother's.

"I told you if you were going to say that to STAY AWAY FROM ME!" She pushed him out of her room, with surprising force for such a short person, and slammed the door in his face.

'_That _was not how it was mean to happen. Not the apology and kiss and make up that I had planned' Thought the Doctor as he sadly made his was to the console room with his tail between his legs.

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It had been three days since she had yelled at the Doctor and now Rose was feeling guilty. She hadn't meant to hit him quite so hard after all. But he could just be so, so _smug_. Well…she loved him anyway, in fact sometimes she loved how sickeningly smug he was. So she thought perhaps she should make it up to him. He was good to her, and sweet to her, and hell he had given her the last banana on the TARDIS, now for the Doctor that was love! So with the help of the ever watchful TARDIS, Rose concocted a grand gesture of apology for her alien lover.

"Come on Doctor." Her grin was almost inhuman, he had never seen her looking quite so sneaky or pleased with herself, she looked decidedly…_smug_. She hadn't even spoken to him in three days and now she was beaming at him like a smug, blonde, Cheshire cat! Oh well…he trusted her and he was happier than ever that she was back to normal with him again. Just to show how happy he was at her happiness he wrapped her up in an almost bone crushing hug. She gave a fairly undignified squeak and a laugh into his ear, before placing a very welcome kiss to his lips.

"This is my apology for being a little shi…terror, Doctor." Rose said looking a little shy now.

"Well I think you need to be a little…terror, more often then." He said, moving his hands to her bum and his head down for another kiss.

"No." She was laughing "I didn't mean the kiss…I meant…oh just look outside!" The look on the Doctor's face was priceless. Rose wished she had a camera so that she could use that expression for future blackmail material.

"_You_ flew the TARDIS?" He gaped at her unbelievingly

"Yes Mr. I'm-so-great-and-can-fly-a-time-machine_** I**_ flew the TARDIS…and you'd better stop with that tone right now." She pointed a warning finger at him, but her stance was ruined by the smile she was wearing.

"With a little help from the wonderful and talented TARDIS herself of course." She smirked as she ran her hand lovingly across the wall.

"Traitor" The Doctor muttered to his machine.

"Oh for god's sake just get your bony backside outside mister!" Rose demanded. Sensing his lingering amusement and annoyance that she had flown the TARDIS without him even knowing, Rose grabbed his hand and pulled him outside.

"Rose Tyler! This is BRILLIANT!" The Time Lord had one hand in Rose's, the other in his pocket and he was positively beaming!

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A/N--- Good? Bad? Please review! 


	2. Perfect

A/N--- The second chapter of my challenge fic. I may or may not do a third. I'm not sure yet.

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"Genius…pure genius. Textbook genius!" The Doctor swept Rose around and took her lips in an excited kiss, when he released her she was flushing shyly and smiling with her bottom lip between her teeth.

"You like it then?" She asked whilst the Doctor shut the doors of the TARDIS and marched out onto the planet. "Not too bad for a stupid ape is it?"

"You Rose Tyler are anything but stupid. Look at it. It's beautiful!"

The Doctor and Rose were stood in the middle of a grassy knoll overlooking what seemed to be endless forests of green and yellow trees, all over one hundred foot high and spread under a gentle violet sky in which burned three silver suns. But of all the beauty of the skies above and the colours laid out below them, Rose knew that the Doctor was interested in something else. Her hopes were confirmed when he grabbed her hand and ran full pelt down into the forests below them.

On each tree was a sight that the Doctor had dreamt of many times, it was to him the thing that legends were made of. Each tree grew bananas. And not just any bananas, these were the giant bananas of Mandaluvia. Each one was about seven foot long and the Doctor was in paradise.

The last thing Rose saw was a flash of brown coat and then she knew that there was no reaching the Doctor, at least not until he was ready. There he was singing a little song and dashing to every tree in search of his perfect banana. Rose followed, ambling after him and watching happily as her Doctor wheeled about like a child at Christmas, in a sweetshop, in Disneyland. Rose sat herself on a fallen tree trunk and let him get on with it. This was her treat for him, her apology. He had after all given her the last banana on the TARDIS, now she was just repaying the favour.

An hour later Rose was starting to get a little bored. It had been over forty minutes since the Doctor had grabbed her and actually carried her over to see his 'perfect banana' that he had found. After that he had been very secretive, sitting far enough away from her that she couldn't see anything that he was doing, although by this point she had given up even trying.

The Doctor was singing as he worked on, well, whatever it was he was working on,

"Banana's in pyjamas," He paused expectantly, "Rose" She sighed in response, the Doctor continued "…_I said…_Banana's in pyjamas…"

"Are coming down the stairs." Rose resentfully sang back, giving in.

"Bananas in pyjamas"

"Are coming down in pairs."

"Banana's in pyjamas,"

"Are chasing…Seriously Doctor how long are you going to be?" Rose moaned at him.

"You've ruined the song now. You're just no fun Miss Tyler. You deserve a good spanking for spoiling our glorious song." Rose could hear the Doctor's suggestive smirk within his words.

"Oh yeah?" she replied with eyebrows raised, even though he wouldn't see them. "I'll hold you to that."

"You, Rose, can hold me to anything you like." She could hear him moving closer but his steps were heavier than usual and there was an odd dragging sound. "But first," oh dear the Doctor was still speaking, and his voice was becoming louder and clearer as he approached, finally he burst into Rose's view. "I'm a banana!" He exclaimed overly excitedly.

Rose burst into outrageous laughter, her Doctor, the man she had left everything for, the man she was sleeping with, the man she loved was stood in front of her actually wearing the skin of a seven foot banana. She laughed until tears rolled down her cheeks and she was grasping her sides in pain. Then the Doctor proceeded to do a shimmy and she laughed so hard that she fell off the log she was sitting on, straight on to her back. The laughter stopped.

Silence.

"Rose?" The Doctor called quietly, still smiling, waiting for her to start laughing again. No noise came.

"ROSE?!" The Doctor shouted, throwing off the banana peel and racing towards where Rose had been sat. He clambered over the huge tree truck that served as a log for Rose to sit on. As he slid down the other side of it he saw Rose lying still on the leaf strewn ground, her eyes closed.

He knelt next to her and noticed the blood seeping through her hair. He moved her as cautiously and delicately as he could, and found a large sharp rock where her head had laid. He examined his lover carefully, whispering words of love to her as he did and sighed out a heavy breath of relief as he determined that there was no real damage, just a small cut, although being on the scalp meant the blood made it look worse, and a bump just heavy enough to have knocked her out but nothing more.

He had sat for a couple of minutes with Rose's head on his lap waiting for her to wake up. He drifted off into thought, he was feeling rather full, he had after all just eaten all of a seven foot long banana. His stomach was beginning to ache somewhat.

"So where's my spanking?" The Doctor jumped considerably as Rose spoke. He had snapped his head back to look at her and saw as her face broke into a beautiful smile.

"Rose, you scared me. Rule 1, don't wander off." Lectured the Doctor hiding his grin,

"I didn't wander off…I fell off. It's your fault for dressing up as a banana." Rose scolded him playfully.

"None of that, you need to be reprimanded. Back to the TARDIS…_now_! You shout at me, then fly my TARDIS, ruin my song and go falling off logs. I'll make sure you get a punishment you won't forget." He breathed his words huskily into Rose's ear before scooping her up into his arms, eliciting giggles from her, and walking back towards the TARDIS.

"Doctor?" Rose began, "What did you do with the inside of that banana?"

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A/N--- What do you think? A third chapter or not?


	3. Votes

**A/N--**

Hey guys!

Right...I am considering writing a third and very smutty chapter to this story...do I dare...I've never written smut so I'm not sure whether to.

I will leave it to a review vote.

I will send you bananas and chips and Rose smiles and rufflable Doctor hair if you review! :)


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